As our timelines converge.
Our origin stories awaken.
You and I,
We’re not meeting for the first time.
We are meeting again.
Across lifetimes.
Across thresholds.
Across wreckage and rebirth.
Honouring the moments that shaped us
In ways that ordinary language cannot hold.
I see you, my kindred.
And I know you see me too.
The search to find my Calling began the night I died.
Not a physical death
- Although, close.
Almost.
A World Shattering Impact.
As fractured bone exploded and blood spilled forth
My identity was destroyed and I was reborn.
Four storey descent.
50 foot straight drop that should have been the climatic end of my story -
and
yet
I was caught.
By The Universe.
By A Miracle.
As Earth’s gravity collided with destiny,
It became the catalyst for my life-long journey to fulfil the work I was born to do.
My beginning wasn’t peaceful or beautiful.
It was a violent entrance into a blazing dawn.
In the aftermath
Of Chaos
In the stillness
Of Suffering
In the void
Between Worlds -
I experienced a profound moment of AWAKENING.
Some might call it destiny.
Some might call it fate.
Some might call it the shock of a life-changing trauma.
But for me?
It was my first initiation
Into remembering why I’m here.
I know what it feels like to have this overwhelming feeling that you’re meant for something more.
Only to realise no one else can hold the depth of what you’ve lived through or understand the expanse of what you’re being called to create.
Because adversity-awakened warriors like you and I - we’re not looking to own a business, be self-employed or advance our careers.
We’re seeking the deeply meaningful and joy-filled work that makes sense of who we are as human beings.
Beyond passion or purpose and greater than our ‘zone of genius’. It’s our life’s work.
Our calling.
Our true legacy.
Our mark upon this world and how we’ll be remembered - Once our time comes.
It can be incredibly lonely walking this path.
As much as friends and family do their best to help and professionals provide expert advice - often none of it can feel right - because others can’t understand what it means to be ‘awakened by adversity’ unless they’ve lived through it themselves.
The Truth Is -
After all the suffering, the surviving and the healing
I just really needed someone who truly understood me and what I’d experienced - to help me figure out what I was meant to do with my life. Unfortunately, I discovered the hard way that I had to become the person I was looking for.
If you’re willing to bear witness.
I’d like to take you on a journey into my initiation, training and rite of passage to become a Life’s Calling Alchemist and the 3 physical, spiritual and psychological life-changing moments of adversity that made evolution possible for me.
Not to share my story but to help you intuit whether we’re meant to walk this path together and if so, to know that no matter the journey that brought you here - your future’s in safe hands.
I will never know -
If the man who drugged me without my consent will ever regret how he hurt me but I do know - he had no control over how I chose to respond. I transformed my physical trauma into the motivation to find my life’s work and my pain became my initiation into the deeply meaningful work that I love with all my heart.
But first I had to let go - Of everything.
My identity, the future I envisioned for myself and my hopes and dreams. Unwillingly, I released that timeline at the same time as the 6th floor balcony railings that I clung to, desperately. Believing it was the final act of my short life.
I survived the fall - A Miracle.
But I was left permanently changed. Paralysed on impact. As my spine shattered so did my life. A complete death of the self that led to a profound spiritual awakening. An overwhelming ‘knowing’ this event was meant to happen, that everything would be OK and I was meant for more because if that had been ‘it’ - and it should have been ‘it’ - how would the world remember me?
What I didn’t realise - My journey had just begun.
Highly motivated, incredibly committed and all fired up for bold action but without an expert to guide me. I did what most people do when building a new career in a next chapter of life - I followed my joy and went back to school.
The best of intentions - My first mistake.
An unspoken rule we’ve all been taught.
“I need a qualification to do the work I love”.
Nobody told me - Success would be my downfall.
I worked hard, made all the right moves, asked the right questions of brilliant experts to build two successful businesses. Truth was, I’d got it all wrong. I wasted years of my time, money & energy - before hitting burnout - to realise it.
To the outside world - I had it all figured out
My business consultancy earned more in 1 month than a full year’s salary (working for someone else) and my clients were inspirational. My creative practice thrived - MA from a respected university with exhibitions, workshops and talks across the UK and overseas.
The results spoke for themselves - And blinded me to the truth.
Fellowships. Awards. Headhunted for multimillion £ projects. Entrepreneurship advisor for academic institutions, local governments and professional networks. Waymarkers of success. But I was living a double life. Worse - I was living a lie. Overwhelmed by trying to do it all, I frantically juggled two different roles. Lost, I was told to choose - between the work that lit me up and the work that helped others rise. I couldn’t explain why, I refused.
Pushed to my limit - I hid a life-changing secret
In silence I waged spiritual war. A fight for soul, sanity and survival. A baptism of fire into an alternate version of reality. Spiritual torture. Psychic attack. Like many women, I felt the pressure - through fear and shame - to deny:
The most courageous, feminine and sacred parts of my identity,
In order to be taken seriously in my professional world.
I lost everything - I’d been taught was important.
My businesses, my car, my home. After burnout came the breakdown. And when the physical, spiritual and psychological pain became too much to continue - I almost lost the most precious thing I own, my life - to suicidal thoughts.
A dark place - That’s open to all of us.
A destination I never thought I’d visit, until I stepped off the cliff into that abyss. Lost in the depths of despair. No idea how to go forward and no way back. I could no longer avoid my own shadows - I leaned into the lessons I’d been too afraid to experience.
I became curious - About my own destruction.
What caused this to happen? What went so wrong? Shocked into realising, it wasn’t only about me. We’re all caught in the eye of the storm. Shouldering the weight of other people’s expectations, manipulated by an outdated, career-focused, hustle-driven system - most of us are forced to conform.
Nobody’s fault - We never questioned the status quo.
Every professional (including business consultants, like me) believed they gave the right advice to the best of their abilities. Well-intentioned misdirection. Experts and advisors unable to see what adversity-awakened warriors seek -
A Life’s Calling not a simple career.
It’s time to
reimagine
everything.
We
Stand tall.
We
Rise strong.
Carried on
Wings of solid silver and gold
Cast from the battle scars,
Of every life we’ve lived
And each life story we own.
We have experienced
A thousand lives.
Died a thousand times.
We Are ETERNITY
Reborn in another form.
And no matter,
The cost,
The pain -
The core of our Being
Will be back for more.
On The Other Side
Of This Rite Of Passage Waits -
Everything you have the potential to become.
I know, this sounds BIG so let me explain what that meant for me.
Not through the daily activities of everyday life but the parts of my humanity that were allowed to emerge - once I figured out my calling and did the ‘important work’ - to transform my darkest moments into the fire to confidently burn everything down and start again.
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I am a …
Wild Woman
Who refuses to conform to the rules and expectations of ‘others’.
Wisdom Keeper
Who sees the world differently to the views that many ‘gurus’ promote.
Wayfinder
Who doesn’t waste her time walking the well-trodden trails that most ‘advisors’ provide.
Wordsmith
Who rewrote the story of her life by transmuting her fear and shame, so that she can confidently share her truth - in all of its glory and all of its pain.
Parts of my self that were once suppressed,
Now able to flourish.
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Guided by my Calling -
I consciously choose to create a rich, meaningful and joy filled life - every single day. A life that my younger self lying paralysed in a hospital bed, could never imagine was available to her.
Having walked the path of the Life’s Calling Alchemist for over 20 years and figured out the meaning of my life - the hard way. One thing I can tell you with certainty:
This journey isn’t about ‘reinvention’ it’s about Evolution.
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